Sunday, May 23, 2004
*nurul
gahhhh. i like just finished bawling my eyes out. sighh. now i'm so damn exhausted. it all started when lil' meanie called. and we were talking and blah blah. and he had to go off cuz he was going out for dinner wif his familyy. and den suddenly a sharp pang in the heart. and i started crying. i miss my family. i miss going out for dinners wif dem. i miss hafing a COMPLETE family. gawd dammit. i'm gonna start crying again. i realise how i took everything for granted. i just want dem to talk to each other and be civilised to each other. is it so hard? are dey gonna continue hafing this silly cold war. i'm caught in between all the harsh words. just cuz dey cant vent their anger on the other party cuz dey are not talking to the other party, dey think its fine to do it on me. its beginning to take a toll on me. i just want things to go back to wad it used to be. its been nearly 20 daes. i miss tasting my mom's cooking, i miss hafing proper dinners wif dem, i miss all the luffter and teasing in the hse, i miss seeing two of dem sleeping soundly on the same bed. i miss my family.
i feel bad for making lil' meanie worryy. but i reallie envy him. my family used to be like dat. but not animore. and i wld do anithing to see dem go back to like how we used to be. why can his family be so happy wif each other's presence? why cant mine? sighh. i just want to haf my family back together again. is it so hard? sighh.